When one moves overseas, to a country and culture, you start stages of acclimation. You begin at the arrival, everything seems like a tourist attraction. You move in/out of stores, neighbourhoods, and cafes with everything so new that you feel like it's a vacation. You stumble through a German order at the markt or ask for a coffee but transactions are simple and conversation is brief. Soon you discover that you'll actually have to understand all the terms of a car lease, an apartment rental or phone service that you really become confused and frustrated. You finally move to a state of acceptance. My time came when my son was signed up for Kindergarten.
After some weeks of research, we found a local Montessori school nearby. It was clean, modern, and plenty of play space. The teachers were very helpful in explanations of the schedule and parental commitment (in English) but made it clear our son would have to pick up German on his own. What I mean to say is they would not coddle him with English every day. That sounded just fine with us.
Upon signing the contract with the Montessori school, they requested a copy of my pay slip. I thought this to be peculiar but they informed me that monthly school payment is determined upon my monthly income!! I was really bothered by this approach as my success and subsequent income has nothing to do directly the needs/care of my son. Likewise, why should I pay more than some other schlep when our kids are using the same resources at the Kindergarten. It was a travesty; it was inequitable; it was socialism.
Welcome to Germany.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Time for Eating- German Style
I expect this will be the first of many posts on the joys of eating in Germany. While Germany does not have all the tradition and elegance of the French, the cuisine is still pretty damn good! This first 'foodie' post covers the rich history and fascination with meat. If you want the quick insights into German diet of meat, I'd recommend the Jan, 2010 issue of Smithsonian Magazine. The article is called, "For German Butchers, A Wurst Case Scenario" The German butcher must work harder than ever to survive as the country shifts to vegan requirements during the last 20 years.
The German butcher has the unusual custom of offering free slices of bologna or salami to the children. Maybe this is the practice of 'get em hooked' when they are young but the kids really enjoy and expect the treat. The diversity of meat in a butcher is like nothing I've ever seen before. While my kids became very familiar with the sights, my visiting friends and family have never seen a full pig head, pig knuckle or cow tongue on display. It really makes one pause and stare for a moment.
During a Thanksgiving holiday in 2000, we invited my good friend Mike (an American) and his family over for dinner. Mike insisted on getting the turkey. He visited his local farmer, who raises turkey year round. At 9AM that morning, he selected his bird (while it was still grazing in the pen), the farmer pulled it out back for immediate slaughter. One hour later, Mike was at our front door with turkey and schnapps in hand.
Ask yourself, when was the last time you'd actually seen a turkey alive? Now, ask yourself, when was the last time you've seen one fresh...I mean really fresh! Most of us get a frozen turkey each year and it was slightly unnerving to touch one that had a pulse only an hour ago. Obviously, it made for some great conversation. How's that for eating like the Pilgrims?
The German butcher has the unusual custom of offering free slices of bologna or salami to the children. Maybe this is the practice of 'get em hooked' when they are young but the kids really enjoy and expect the treat. The diversity of meat in a butcher is like nothing I've ever seen before. While my kids became very familiar with the sights, my visiting friends and family have never seen a full pig head, pig knuckle or cow tongue on display. It really makes one pause and stare for a moment.
During a Thanksgiving holiday in 2000, we invited my good friend Mike (an American) and his family over for dinner. Mike insisted on getting the turkey. He visited his local farmer, who raises turkey year round. At 9AM that morning, he selected his bird (while it was still grazing in the pen), the farmer pulled it out back for immediate slaughter. One hour later, Mike was at our front door with turkey and schnapps in hand.
Ask yourself, when was the last time you'd actually seen a turkey alive? Now, ask yourself, when was the last time you've seen one fresh...I mean really fresh! Most of us get a frozen turkey each year and it was slightly unnerving to touch one that had a pulse only an hour ago. Obviously, it made for some great conversation. How's that for eating like the Pilgrims?
Friday, January 15, 2010
Shopping German Style
When my wife and I arrived in Germany, we had steep learning curve. It was the stuff that people never really bother to tell you during the job interview. As mentioned in previous postings, we arrived in our 2nd floor flat (really 3rd floor as Germans don't give ground floor a number) and tried to settle into by doing the first shopping excusion. For you 'new' expats you won't appreciate the situation in the old days. Things are easier for your now.
We had arrived in country on a Friday late-afternoon and searched out for pizza that first night. After a late dinner, we settled in for the night and put groceries as first on the agenda for Sat AM. We woke around 10AM and with some leisure made our way to the shop by 11AM. When we arrived, we quickly learned the shop was to close at 12:00 as this was a Saturday and Germans value their free time. I remember rushing through the store trying to figure out brands, locations, and translations. Things took a while but we made it to register with some time to spare.
At the register, I proceeded to take out my Visa card. That was met with some confusion and scorn by the cashier. Then I pulled out American Express. Everyone uses American Express. I got the same look. I could only yell out to the line behind me, "No Visa, no Amex, what gives?!" I looked like a fool. It got worse.
We scrambled into our pockets and pulled out 20DM and this required the cashier to take items off the register total (which has reached 28DM). This required a manager, a key, and some additional discussion. People in the line were in shock when we removed diapers from our total.
Now, my embarassment had just about reached it peak when we discovered that we needed our own bags to take the groceries home. As I recall now, my wife carried 11month son home, while I placed all our groceries in his bassinet. The Germans were probably laughing for days afterwards.
About 2 years later, the grocery stores extended Sat hours to 2PM. Furthermore, they all take EuroCheque (EC Card) which works like a debit card. Tell me if you've experience any of the same?
We had arrived in country on a Friday late-afternoon and searched out for pizza that first night. After a late dinner, we settled in for the night and put groceries as first on the agenda for Sat AM. We woke around 10AM and with some leisure made our way to the shop by 11AM. When we arrived, we quickly learned the shop was to close at 12:00 as this was a Saturday and Germans value their free time. I remember rushing through the store trying to figure out brands, locations, and translations. Things took a while but we made it to register with some time to spare.
At the register, I proceeded to take out my Visa card. That was met with some confusion and scorn by the cashier. Then I pulled out American Express. Everyone uses American Express. I got the same look. I could only yell out to the line behind me, "No Visa, no Amex, what gives?!" I looked like a fool. It got worse.
We scrambled into our pockets and pulled out 20DM and this required the cashier to take items off the register total (which has reached 28DM). This required a manager, a key, and some additional discussion. People in the line were in shock when we removed diapers from our total.
Now, my embarassment had just about reached it peak when we discovered that we needed our own bags to take the groceries home. As I recall now, my wife carried 11month son home, while I placed all our groceries in his bassinet. The Germans were probably laughing for days afterwards.
About 2 years later, the grocery stores extended Sat hours to 2PM. Furthermore, they all take EuroCheque (EC Card) which works like a debit card. Tell me if you've experience any of the same?
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Plight of Expat Spouse - Part 2
For the record, my wife was entirely 'gung-ho' about moving overseas. She had to quit her job, leave her friends, and stay home with kids. In some part, I'm entirely to blame for my overzelous desire to move overseas. I had to see the world, improve my career standing, escape the 2 hr daily commute, and test my skills with another culture.
While you don't see it all clearly then, you need to come to the conclusion it's all about you. Your spouse was dragged along for the ride. They don't get to decide time, travel, living conditions, friends. It has been decided for them by the constraints of the relocation and your job committment. The spouse has a life where every day has a new challenge. How to pay the bills, buy groceries in an unfamiliar language, work out directions in a new land, make new friends where there maybe little in common.
Often, we'd hear stories of military wives who never left the base. They had friends, movies, schools, stores all within the confines of the base and seldom ventured outside its walls. I consider that an 'island of America' within a foreign country. It's home but not real. Adapting to and adopting with German society is painful.
At my office, I failed to recognize that my wife required 2 hrs to find the right foods at the store. She had to learn entire sections in the grocery store. She had to find substitutes for American products that did not exist in Germany (Baking Soda). Everyday required some challenge and life was not going to get any easier.
Give your spouse lots of time to sound-off. Don't travel extensively during the first 60 days. Try to get help from others where/when you can. Be patient.
Often, we'd hear stories of military wives who never left the base. They had friends, movies, schools, stores all within the confines of the base and seldom ventured outside its walls. I consider that an 'island of America' within a foreign country. It's home but not real. Adapting to and adopting with German society is painful.
At my office, I failed to recognize that my wife required 2 hrs to find the right foods at the store. She had to learn entire sections in the grocery store. She had to find substitutes for American products that did not exist in Germany (Baking Soda). Everyday required some challenge and life was not going to get any easier.
Give your spouse lots of time to sound-off. Don't travel extensively during the first 60 days. Try to get help from others where/when you can. Be patient.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Plight of the Expat Spouse
It has the feeling of being abandon on an island and forced to survive upon 5lbs of baby food tucked deep within the luggage. It was a sobering moment for me personally and professionally. I came to the stark realization that my company knows nothing of expats and their family. They wrongly figure you'll get in, and get settled, just like any German family. In some ways, they had pushed us into an uncomfortable emotional state and we had to rise to the occassion.
Later that night Chris, a manager from the German office, called to see how we were settling in. I kept my composure during the call while all my emotional strength was focused on screaming. My wife had stopped crying and finally had fallen asleep. Chris told me of a local pizza parlor nearby and I found an ATM machine along the way. I'd been in town only 5 hrs and I'd gained a new appreciation of expat life.
You have about 10-14 days before that 'vacation' feeling will start to fade for your spouse. That odd time when things stop feeling so abstract and you must figure out basic tasks (apartment hunting, bus routes, grocery shopping) for yourself. This part can get really bothersome and frightful for your spouse, while you sit 9 hrs a day at the office.
The time for sitting around has passed and now you must start entering the German society with all it's rules, customs, and patterns. You and your spouse will have to move outside your comfort zone and start asking questions, start testing boundries of comfort, and start making a full effort at acclimation.
You need to get your spouse involved in daily activity. Any activity that sets a routine and adds a level of purpose for each day. All too often, the spouse has no other activity or support group and they are left feeling bored, angry, or resentful. You need to help your spouse with this transition and give them a push out the door. It's unlikely they will do it for themselves as it can look/fee to intimidating.
A 1989 study by the Journal of Management, attempts to draw a connection between the capacity of an overseas expat manager and the ability for his/her spouse to acclimate to the new life. Additionally, the adjustment of the manager is directly coorelated to the adjustment of the spouse. It ain't all about the work!
Start here and start quickly. Direct your spouse into:
-Search out local expat support groups
-Bring your collegues over for dinner with their spouses
-Look for clubs/activities for the kids
-Publish a blog on the experiences
Friday, October 23, 2009
In Country, In Trouble, Incapable ?
You've figured out all the personal and professional reasons why working overseas is a wise move. Now you need to get settled, get registered, and get ready. You have period of several days where you will be torn between personal and business obligations. You'll likely want to impress your employer during the first few weeks but also have a focus on getting your personal life in order. This involves work permits, driver license, resident permit, health insurance, bank accounts, and many other German agencies. If you have kids, this can be a tense several weeks. I'd make three recommendations.
1) Give yourself 5 days in country to get paperwork processed, visit needed agencies, get unpacked, explore some of your surroundings.
2) Your employer MUST assign someone to assist you with all the necessary documents. There are lines in all these agency offices. If you get it wrong, it's back of the line. Many agencies open from 8am-1pm only. The translation assistance is critical for time and your emotional state.
3) Bring your personal file with you. This includes all the passports, birth certificate, marriage licence, drivers license, letter of employment.
I recall there was a sequence of visits to get through all German agencies effectively. It goes like this..
- Get a formal letter from your German employer (Arbeitsbescheinigung) stating your employment start date and title. Get is signed and stamped by a senior official in the company. Everything requires a stamp!
- Take that letter to your local bank and set up an account. You'll need a passport and a small deposit but this will get you started. Bring this account information to your employer. Keep the BLZ# and Account#.
- Visit the ArbeitAmt (Employment Office) and you need to get Application for Work (Antrag auf Arbeitserlaubnis). Complete them with your employeer, have them stamp it and sign. Bring all forms, employment letter, passport, bank account and visit the agency. This is a two-year stamp so you'll need to keep copies of this paperwork.
- Visit your BergerAmt and complete the Application for Residence Permit. This will require passports once again and they will be stampted. Before your departure from your home town, ask for an official (stamped!) letter stating you have no criminal record, warrants or infractions with the local Police Dept. It will likely be used during this visit.
- Visit agency for KinderGeld (if you have children) and register for this stipend. This allows for added income for care and feeding of the children. They deposit this in your bank account directly.
Bring several additional passport size photos of yourself. These will be attached to various files for German agencies. Start early with the process, get your employer to provide assistance, be prepared to visit some agency offices more than once. Take a deep breath and relax for it will be over soon.
1) Give yourself 5 days in country to get paperwork processed, visit needed agencies, get unpacked, explore some of your surroundings.
2) Your employer MUST assign someone to assist you with all the necessary documents. There are lines in all these agency offices. If you get it wrong, it's back of the line. Many agencies open from 8am-1pm only. The translation assistance is critical for time and your emotional state.
3) Bring your personal file with you. This includes all the passports, birth certificate, marriage licence, drivers license, letter of employment.
I recall there was a sequence of visits to get through all German agencies effectively. It goes like this..
- Get a formal letter from your German employer (Arbeitsbescheinigung) stating your employment start date and title. Get is signed and stamped by a senior official in the company. Everything requires a stamp!
- Take that letter to your local bank and set up an account. You'll need a passport and a small deposit but this will get you started. Bring this account information to your employer. Keep the BLZ# and Account#.
- Visit the ArbeitAmt (Employment Office) and you need to get Application for Work (Antrag auf Arbeitserlaubnis). Complete them with your employeer, have them stamp it and sign. Bring all forms, employment letter, passport, bank account and visit the agency. This is a two-year stamp so you'll need to keep copies of this paperwork.
- Visit your BergerAmt and complete the Application for Residence Permit. This will require passports once again and they will be stampted. Before your departure from your home town, ask for an official (stamped!) letter stating you have no criminal record, warrants or infractions with the local Police Dept. It will likely be used during this visit.
- Visit agency for KinderGeld (if you have children) and register for this stipend. This allows for added income for care and feeding of the children. They deposit this in your bank account directly.
Bring several additional passport size photos of yourself. These will be attached to various files for German agencies. Start early with the process, get your employer to provide assistance, be prepared to visit some agency offices more than once. Take a deep breath and relax for it will be over soon.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Getting Packed and Saying Goodbye
There is a science as to how to pack for an extended vacation, and then there is the ultimate challenge of packing your life away. I'm sure Sociologists learn much of human beings by what they keep and what they discarded prior to moving overseas. It's not like moving to another town or another state. There are things that you cannot take with you. The car, fridge, washer/dryer, microwave, TV, DVDs, power tools, electric toothbrush, Jack Lalanne Juicer, George Foreman Grill, alarm clock, toaster, and many others. There are clothes, furniture, pictures, and a garages full of gardening tools never expected to make the trip abroad.
I realize some items, like computers, have a 110/220v setting but those are the exception. As you start your packing list for overseas, you'll have several things to consider. Get a 8 week countdown list prepared and start with notifications, yard sales, and inventory of personal effects (Will, bank account, passports, insurance, etc). Having 3-4 movers running around your house is overwhelming and it all goes out quickly. If your company has not provided you with a mover, here is a list. Get several quotes from movers and get your employer to pay the necessary fees. You'll never be able to do packing, Customs documents, insurance forms, and unpacking by yourself. If you get it wrong, your household items are held hostage by the Customs authorities until all the documents and tarrifs correct. Pay the professionals to do this work!
Survivor Time
Your worldly possessions will be stuffed into a 20ft or 40ft shipping container and spend weeks at sea or in Customs. Start thinking about the business and casual clothing to survive 2-3 months. Start putting this aside now in suitcases. Label it clearly for if you're not careful, the movers will just pack it into the container (and it happens all the time)!! We placed all luggage inside the car on moving day...just to be safe.
Back-up Box
Many employers will pay for a 'short box' of items that can be shipped via air. This is a next-phase of essential items that cannot or should not go in your luggage. You have an option for a 3x3x3 box to be shipped via airmail. This should contain other items that are non-clothing related. Most people pack the stroller, cases of baby formula, bike, favorite foods, books, desktop computer, power converter, CD collection, and many childrens toys. You can expect delivery within only 5-6 days of your arrival overseas. This box can be a lifesaver as you wait the 9-12 weeks for your shipping container to make port in Germany. Think and be deliberate about what goes in the box and what stays out. It will feel like a Christmas present when it arrives.
Shipping Container
Everything that is not nailed down will be grabbed, wrapped, and loaded. These movers take everything so if you don't label it, or move offsite, they will pack it up. Be prepared that the things that you bring may never make it into your next home. The couch may not fit into the living room, the queen boxspring won't go up the stairs, the desk may not get in the front door. Bring it with you for it's easy to take it along now, then try to buy it later. Small appliances should be purchased now when/where possible. Don't bother with fridge, dishwasher, washing machine and other large appliances. This carries too much risk of damage in-route and you'll find plenty of these used items in the local papers.
The conversion from the US Dollar to the Euro will make thing very expensive if you attempt to buy upon your arrival. Likewise, every appliance has a 18% VAT (value added tax) to the purchase. I highly recommend getting most of your small appliances in America, and put them in the shipping container.
It will save you time and money to shop at home! I've used stores in NC and IL. There are dozens of stores across the USA. Make a road-trip, load up the car, save hundreds on shipping.
Personal Package
Along with any luggage you intend to carry, you need to build an envelope of personal papers. Get all medical records, passports, employment documents, travel insurance, work permits, bank statements, birth certificates, marriage license, pay stubs, school transcripts, and rental agreements or mortgage papers. Keep that with you at all times for you will need it. While any German agency may not read it, they may accept a translated version. You will need this for any future visit to a bank, German labor office, or the US Embassy. Keep it secret...keep it safe.
Once everything is packed, and the movers have pulled away with the sea container, you'll stare around your empty home with some fear and anxiety. You are now in the 'place between places' and there is no turning back. Drink a beer, order in some pizza, have a picnic on the floor with the kids. The journey has begun.
I realize some items, like computers, have a 110/220v setting but those are the exception. As you start your packing list for overseas, you'll have several things to consider. Get a 8 week countdown list prepared and start with notifications, yard sales, and inventory of personal effects (Will, bank account, passports, insurance, etc). Having 3-4 movers running around your house is overwhelming and it all goes out quickly. If your company has not provided you with a mover, here is a list. Get several quotes from movers and get your employer to pay the necessary fees. You'll never be able to do packing, Customs documents, insurance forms, and unpacking by yourself. If you get it wrong, your household items are held hostage by the Customs authorities until all the documents and tarrifs correct. Pay the professionals to do this work!
Survivor Time
Your worldly possessions will be stuffed into a 20ft or 40ft shipping container and spend weeks at sea or in Customs. Start thinking about the business and casual clothing to survive 2-3 months. Start putting this aside now in suitcases. Label it clearly for if you're not careful, the movers will just pack it into the container (and it happens all the time)!! We placed all luggage inside the car on moving day...just to be safe.
Back-up Box
Many employers will pay for a 'short box' of items that can be shipped via air. This is a next-phase of essential items that cannot or should not go in your luggage. You have an option for a 3x3x3 box to be shipped via airmail. This should contain other items that are non-clothing related. Most people pack the stroller, cases of baby formula, bike, favorite foods, books, desktop computer, power converter, CD collection, and many childrens toys. You can expect delivery within only 5-6 days of your arrival overseas. This box can be a lifesaver as you wait the 9-12 weeks for your shipping container to make port in Germany. Think and be deliberate about what goes in the box and what stays out. It will feel like a Christmas present when it arrives.
Shipping Container
Everything that is not nailed down will be grabbed, wrapped, and loaded. These movers take everything so if you don't label it, or move offsite, they will pack it up. Be prepared that the things that you bring may never make it into your next home. The couch may not fit into the living room, the queen boxspring won't go up the stairs, the desk may not get in the front door. Bring it with you for it's easy to take it along now, then try to buy it later. Small appliances should be purchased now when/where possible. Don't bother with fridge, dishwasher, washing machine and other large appliances. This carries too much risk of damage in-route and you'll find plenty of these used items in the local papers.
The conversion from the US Dollar to the Euro will make thing very expensive if you attempt to buy upon your arrival. Likewise, every appliance has a 18% VAT (value added tax) to the purchase. I highly recommend getting most of your small appliances in America, and put them in the shipping container.
It will save you time and money to shop at home! I've used stores in NC and IL. There are dozens of stores across the USA. Make a road-trip, load up the car, save hundreds on shipping.
Personal Package
Along with any luggage you intend to carry, you need to build an envelope of personal papers. Get all medical records, passports, employment documents, travel insurance, work permits, bank statements, birth certificates, marriage license, pay stubs, school transcripts, and rental agreements or mortgage papers. Keep that with you at all times for you will need it. While any German agency may not read it, they may accept a translated version. You will need this for any future visit to a bank, German labor office, or the US Embassy. Keep it secret...keep it safe.
Once everything is packed, and the movers have pulled away with the sea container, you'll stare around your empty home with some fear and anxiety. You are now in the 'place between places' and there is no turning back. Drink a beer, order in some pizza, have a picnic on the floor with the kids. The journey has begun.
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