For the record, my wife was entirely 'gung-ho' about moving overseas. She had to quit her job, leave her friends, and stay home with kids. In some part, I'm entirely to blame for my overzelous desire to move overseas. I had to see the world, improve my career standing, escape the 2 hr daily commute, and test my skills with another culture.
While you don't see it all clearly then, you need to come to the conclusion it's all about you. Your spouse was dragged along for the ride. They don't get to decide time, travel, living conditions, friends. It has been decided for them by the constraints of the relocation and your job committment. The spouse has a life where every day has a new challenge. How to pay the bills, buy groceries in an unfamiliar language, work out directions in a new land, make new friends where there maybe little in common.
Often, we'd hear stories of military wives who never left the base. They had friends, movies, schools, stores all within the confines of the base and seldom ventured outside its walls. I consider that an 'island of America' within a foreign country. It's home but not real. Adapting to and adopting with German society is painful.
At my office, I failed to recognize that my wife required 2 hrs to find the right foods at the store. She had to learn entire sections in the grocery store. She had to find substitutes for American products that did not exist in Germany (Baking Soda). Everyday required some challenge and life was not going to get any easier.
Give your spouse lots of time to sound-off. Don't travel extensively during the first 60 days. Try to get help from others where/when you can. Be patient.
